‘Though one knows all the time one’s
life isn’t really right, at the source. That’s the humiliation. I
don’t see that the illness counts so much, after that. One is
ill because one doesn’t live properly—can’t. It’s the failure to
live that makes one ill, and humiliates one.’
‘But do you fail to live?’ he asked, almost jeering.
‘Why yes—I don’t make much of a success of my days.
One seems always to be bumping one’s nose against the
blank wall ahead.’
‘Why, why are people all balls of bitter dust? Because
they won’t fall off the tree when they’re ripe. They hang on
to their old positions when the position is over-past, till they
become infested with little worms and dry-rot.’
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